Turning 40: Embracing My Journey of Self-Rediscovery After Major Life Resets

While I am just turning 40, life has handed me three major resets so far. None of them were part of my plans. As a young girl, I didn’t dream of being divorced—much less twice. I envisioned a life of stability and success, like becoming an interior designer (thanks to the TLC channel I was hooked on in high school and still love to this day!). Yet, life had other plans.

After earning my associate degree in interior design, from a technical college, I felt on top of the world. I was engaged, then married to my high school sweetheart, and ticking off those “adulting” boxes—at just 20 years old! I couldn't even legally drink at my wedding. But not long after, I found myself trapped in a controlling marriage. My deep insecurities grew, and by 23, I was divorced, battling fears and anxiety that nearly left me afraid to leave my house.

In my rush to escape, I jumped into another relationship with an older man who seemed like a way out of my pain. I clung to him, hoping he would "fix" me, and fell into a pattern that would define my life for years: losing myself to someone else.

This cycle of running away and changing for whoever I was with lasted for decades. I would mold my identity—clothes, interests, even my location—to fit the man in my life, convincing myself that as long as he was happy, I would be too. But it was a lie. I wasn’t living my dream life; I was living a conditioned life, one shaped by the expectations and insecurities of others.

Fast forward to my late 30s, now divorced for the second time, and I still had no clue who I really was. Then the pandemic hit. Shutdowns forced me to stop running, to pause and reflect. During that time, I immersed myself in personal growth—coaching programs, self-help books, and corporate promotions filled my days. For the first time in my life, I was finally getting to know me.

In 2021, I hit another major turning point. I was burning myself out, working full-time while growing a side business and balancing multiple coaching programs. It all came to a halt when I made the difficult decision to move back in with my parents. It was a humbling moment, but it forced me to slow down and take an honest look at my life.

The last three years have been a journey of healing, discovery, and transformation. I invested in coaching certifications, studied crystal healing, and explored my Human Design and birth chart. I pulled oracle cards and journaled every day, reconnecting with myself on a deeper level than ever before. I stopped asking, “Where do you see yourself in five years?” and started asking, “What do I want to experience today?”

Slowly, I began to rebuild my identity—not as someone molded by others, but as my true self. I let go of people, beliefs, and habits that no longer served me. I learned to set boundaries and give myself permission to show up as I am, unapologetically. Turning 40 feels great! I look forward to road ahead knowing that I am creating the path of my dreams.

Now, I want to support you on your journey. I’ve walked the hard, winding path of self-discovery, and if you're feeling lost in your own life, I’m here to guide you.

Here are a few tips to help you get started:

• Curate your social media: Stop following people who make you feel miserable, angry, or drained. Yes, even family members and old friends. Surround yourself with energy that lifts you up.

  
  

• Get to know yourself: Take inventory of what you truly like and dislike. Approach it like a first date. What are your favorite hobbies? What sparks joy in your day-to-day life?

  
  

• Practice gratitude: It may sound cliché, but it works. The more you focus on what you’re grateful for, the more you will feel uplifted. When you dwell on wanting more, you focus on lack. Shift that energy to gratitude instead.

  
  

• Declutter your space: Go through your home and get rid of things that no longer bring you joy. If you’ve held onto something for 10 years “just in case,” it’s time to let it go. Surround yourself with items that reflect who you are now.

  
  

• Do something for yourself daily: It doesn’t have to be big. Whether it’s taking a quiet walk, reading a book, or savoring a cup of coffee, make sure you include time for something you enjoy every single day.

  
  

• Self-awareness is key: Pay attention to your thoughts. Are they negative or self-critical? Ask yourself why. Why are you so hard on yourself? Where do these expectations come from?

  
  

Reclaiming your true self takes time, courage, and patience. It requires unconditional love and forgiveness, not just from others but for yourself. This journey isn’t easy, but you’re not alone. The more time you spend getting to know yourself, the more you will see that reflected in your life.

One tool that helped me discover more about myself and where I was satisfied and dissatisfied in life was the Wheel of Life. If you are feeling stuck and overwhelmed and not sure where to start, the Wheel of Life will help you see all areas of your life and allow you the freedom to decide where to start rebuilding your life, on your own terms and in the direction of what is most important to you.

Download your FREE Wheel of Life Guide and get started making your 40's (or whatever year you are living in) the best yet! Get it HERE!

You Got This!